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In Honor of Stupid People
Contributed by Ernie Hayden

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
And that's the only time I have to work on my hair!

On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.  Details inside.
The shoplifter special?

On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."
And that would be how?

On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
But, it's just a suggestion.

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
A bit late, huh?

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
And you thought ... ?

On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
But wouldn't this save me more time?

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head colds off those forklifts.

On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
I'm taking this because?

On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
As opposed to what?

On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
The other use? What would that be?

On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
News flash!

On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
Maybe you should fly Delta.

On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.

On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?

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