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Monday, March 26, 2001
[Ghostwritten by Norm Johnson]
The Bellevue Breakfast Rotary Club, in a surprise announcement, indicated that they would be relocating club operations from the present
site at the Glendale Country Club, located in Bellevue, Washington, to a site to be selected in either Texas, Colorado, or Idaho.
In a press conference held on the steps of the Rock Bottom Café, Club President Cary Kopczynski
stated, “We expect this transition to be completed before the fall. Our Board of Directors is making this decision to be closer to our original President Lou Webb, and to the editor of the weekly Reveille,
Robin Stark, now in operation from Memphis, TN.”
Kopczynski continued, “The BBRC has enjoyed the past 15 years in Bellevue, but we feel it is time to move on. With the advent of
cyberspace and the fact that 99.5% of our members are now online, we believe we can retain our present membership, with the possible exception of Dick Brown, and actually grow the membership using
live webcasts of the weekly breakfast meetings. We will now be able to accept members from any community with the name “Bellevue.”
Rumors that the move would bring Kopczynski closer to his family’s roots in Chicago and Poland were exaggerated.
“The cost of breakfast and the need to park in the upper lot at the Glendale Club have nothing to do with this decision. The decision is
made with the membership in mind. Although they will continue to be billed quarterly dues, members will now have the option of watching the meeting on the Web and eating pop tarts at home,” Kopczynski
observed.
All three of these states have communities with the name “Bellevue” so the impact on the Club’s name would be minimal. Both Texas and
Colorado were quick to respond with favorable tax inducements to win the Clubs’ approval. However, insiders give the nod to Bellevue, Idaho, the home state of Club Administrator John Mix.
Situated in the foothills north of the Snake River, Bellevue, Idaho, features the High Country Motel, serving a continental breakfast
buffet and offering 12 paved parking spaces, augmented by a graded and graveled auxiliary lot across Highway 75, next to Durg’s Auto Repair and Salvage. High-speed internet access has been promised by
the Sagebrush Telephone and Storm Door Company, effective September, 2001.
Being in close proximity to Hailey – the county seat – and legendary Sun Valley, Ketchum, and Picabo, the newly located club
is sure to attract “dynamite programs, such as Bruce Willis and Demi Moore in a mud-wrestling contest, the Blaine County Commissioner’s monthly meeting, Jamie Lee Curtis conducting an off-site meeting at
Redfish Lake ,by beautiful Stanley Basin, in her famous T-shirt, and memories of Picabo Street from the only person left living in her home town.” Program chair Bob Holert
was less than enthusiastic about the move, until told that Fergis Fenmeister of Bellevue owns a team of Huskies and that he rents them out regularly.
For more information contact the PR firm of Lingenojo & Mix.
April Fool!
Deasy Answers For Quincy:
The BBRC relocation article was fun reading … disappointing that the options didn't include Quincy as a prospective site, however.
I'm certain that the Chamber of Commerce there is prepared to offer aggressive incentives to the membership were consideration given to that alternative destination. A lifetime supply of potatoes for
every member might warrant a reconsideration of the decision. As you know, the Relocation Committee has a responsibility to do its due diligence in these matters and do what is in the best interest of
the membership, as we move to global considerations for our future. In view of this, may I assume that you will give due consideration to the "Home of the Jackrabbits" as an alternative
location for the BBRC?
Response from the PR Firm of Lingenojo & Mix:
Dear Mr. Deasy,
We are aware of your connections to Quincy, but we were told to look for communities whose names contained the word “Bellevue.” That
way, the board wouldn’t have to order new stationery, just change the WA for whatever state is chosen. You missed the whole point of the relocation, to establish the first cyber Rotary Club. Do you know
how many Bellevues there are in the United States? Do you realize that this is the wave of the future, which will attract many current internet subscribers? The Club’s membership will swell and lots of
money will be made in BBRC Futures on Ebay. This is forward-thinking technology. Indeed, no matter how many grossweight of potatoes you can offer, the fact is that potatoes have a carbo problem. In light
of that, the Club should move where real potatoes are grown – Idaho!
The PR Firm of Lingenhojo & Mix
We probably haven’t heard the end of this.
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