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 The call came early Tuesday morning, before the “I Love
You” virus saturated the world’s computers. A scratchy voice told us that another “Gate” was about to happen at Rock Bottom in Bellevue. Based on what we saw last
Thursday, it most certainly was “Rock Bottom.”
We were told to dress up as co-conspirators so we wouldn’t be picked out of the crowd. It was a sunny, yet blustery day, and there was no room in the restaurant to hold the meeting. So, a fellow named
Lingenbrink, who appeared to be in charge, moved the meeting outdoors. The purpose of the meeting? Ah, we’ve covered the likes of the Plumbers, the White House staff, and the
bakery next to Winchell’s, but this group was really up to no good.
 The first thing Lingenbrink did was to introduce Diego Johnson, a shady-looking guy with a bar code across his forehead. Diego
produced a briefcase full of cash and the meeting came to order. It seems that Lingenbrink, who was some kind of chairman of a company called the BBRC, had
ended up with 26 names of corporate members who had yet to be assigned to a big public relations effort. Instead of just assigning them, Lingenbrink saw an opportunity to make a few bucks for a shadowy
outfit called “The Foundation.” Our investigation showed this was just like calling your favorite tavern “The First Methodist Church.” This had scandal written all over it.
 Next, these people came streaming in from
all over, suckered into playing Lingenbrink’s game (we wish his name was shorter … this is giving us writer’s cramp!) They sat down and began bidding for these
people to be part of their team. We hadn’t seen such blatant conspiratorial happenings since we covered the silent auction at the last golf tournament. And in just a matter of minutes, the bidding was
completed and Lingenbrink pocketed $243. And he said it was going to “The Foundation.”
After the “meeting” broke up, we went deeper into this affair. Seems that Steve Goldfarb, who’s due to become the Vice-President of this
corporation, BBRC, was a bouncer or enforcer for the same company a year ago, and Lingenbrink succeeded him. They didn’t get along earlier in
the year, but have since buried the hatchet – but they didn’t say where.
 Now, here’s the kicker: Goldfarb is out of town on
vacation. He’s the big guy in charge of all of this stuff. Lingenbrink saw his chance to pull off a “turnaround” on his supposed buddy and walk away with some cash.
Goldfarb, reached at his undisclosed vacation spot, when informed of what happened, predictably said, “I’m outraged! I am stunned by the crassness of this
man Lingenbrink. This is a scandal that reeks! I will be calculating the damage to our public relations efforts. My calculator never fails!”
So, dear reader, the gauntlet has been thrown down. Now you have the elements of “Delegate-Gate,” where the lives of 26 innocent people become pawns in the hands of Lingenbrink and his co-conspirators. We
would rather not to report these things or accept any more phone calls from scratchy voices. But the responsibility of the press lies with us, and
we shall continue to offer vigilance to an unsuspecting public. The trail is still hot. Open these pages regularly for more updates!
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