Vol. 17, No. 33, February 14, 2005

IN THIS ISSUE:

This Reveille Home Page | The Friday Program: America’s Army at Fort LewisMajor General James M. “Jim” Collins) | Valentine Dine-Around | Friday Potpourri | Three New Members Proposed: Hendershott, Wood & Kippen | Exchange Student Sol Visits | Hopelink Reports on Grant Funds | Reclassification Talk: Margie Burnett | Web Fun

WEBFUN

Bridal Registry

George, age 92, and Edith, age 89, had been seeing each other for 2 years when they decided that life was too short and they might as well be together for the rest of their lives.

Excited about their decision to become newlyweds, they went for a stroll to discuss the wedding and what plans need to be made.

Along their way, they found themselves in front of a drugstore. George said to his bride-to-be, "Let's go in.  I have an idea." They walked to the rear of the store and addressed the man behind the counter:

"Are you the owner?" asked George.

The pharmacist answered, "Yes sir, I am. How can I help you?"

George: "Do you sell heart medications?"

Pharmacist: "Of course we do."

George: "How about support hose for circulation?"

Pharmacist: "Definitely."

George: "What about medications for rheumatism, osteoporosis & arthritis?"

Pharmacist: "All kinds."

George: "How about waterproof furniture pads and Depends?"

Pharmacist: "Yes sir."

George: "Hearing aids, denture supplies & reading glasses?"

Pharmacist: "Yes."

George: "What about eye drops, sleeping pills, Geritol, Preparation-H and Ex-Lax?"

Pharmacist: "Absolutely."

George: "You sell wheelchairs, walkers & canes?"

Pharmacist: "All kinds and sizes. Why all these questions?"

George smiled, glanced shyly at Edith and replied to the pharmacist, "We've decided to get married and we'd like to use your store as our Bridal Registry."

* * *

Yooper Ghost Story

This happened about a month ago just outside of Toivola, a little town in Michigan's upper peninsula, and while it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, it's real. 

An out of state traveler was on the side of the road, hitchhiking on a real dark night in the middle of a thunderstorm. Time passed slowly and no cars went by. It was raining so hard he could hardly see his hand in front of his face. Suddenly he saw a car moving slowly, approaching and appearing ghostlike in the rain. It slowly and silently crept toward him and stopped.  

Wanting a ride real bad the guy jumped in the car and closed the door; only then did he realize that there was nobody behind the wheel, and no sound of an engine to be heard over the rain. Again the car crept slowly forward and the guy was terrified, too scared to think of jumping out and running. The guy saw that the car was approaching a sharp curve and, still too scared to jump out, he started to pray and begging for his life; he was sure the ghost car would go off the road and in the swamp and he would surely drown! But just before the curve a shadowy figure appeared at the driver's window and a hand reached in and turned the steering wheel, guiding the car safely around the bend. Then, just as silently, the hand disappeared through the window and the hitchhiker was alone again!  

Paralyzed with fear, the guy watched the hand reappear every time they reached a curve. Finally the guy, scared to near death, had all he could take and jumped out of the car and ran to town. Wet and in shock, he went into a bar and voice quavering, ordered two shots of whiskey, then told everybody about his supernatural experience.

A silence enveloped and everybody got goose bumps when they realized the guy was telling the truth (and not just some drunk). About half an hour later two guys walked into the bar and one says to the other, "Look Toivo, ders dat idiot dat rode in our car when we wuz pushin' it in da rain."

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