Vol. 14, No. 8, August 27, 2001

 Web Fun

Most people don't know that back in 1912 Hellman's Mayonnaise was manufactured in England. The Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after New York City. The Mexican people were eagerly awaiting delivery and were disconsolate at the loss. So much so that they declared a national day of mourning which they still observe today. It is known, of course, as Sinko de Mayo.

A blackjack dealer and a player with a thirteen count in his hand were arguing about whether or not it was appropriate to tip the dealer.

The player said, "When I get bad cards, it's not the dealer's fault. And, when I get good cards, the dealer obviously has nothing to do with it. So, why should I tip him?"

The dealer replied, "When you eat out, do you tip the waiter?"

"Yes, sure I do," responded the player.

"Well then, he serves you food, and I'm serving you cards. So you see, you should tip me."

"Okay, I see your point," agreed the player. "But, the waiter gives me what I ask for  I'll take an eight."


The prom was in the gymnasium, and we danced to an orchestra, and all the girls wore pastel gowns, and the boys wore suits for the first time, and we stayed out all night.

When a '57 Chevy was everyone's dream car  to cruise, peel out, lay rubber or watch submarine races, and people went steady and girls wore a class ring with an inch of wrapped dental floss or yarn coated with pastel frost nail polish so it would fit her finger.

And no one ever asked where the car keys were 'cause they were always in the car, in the ignition, and the doors were never locked, and you got in big trouble if you accidentally locked the doors at home, since  no one ever had a key.

Remember lying on your back on the grass with your friends and saying things like, "That cloud looks like a "  And playing baseball with no adults to help kids with the rules of the game. Back then, baseball was not a psychological group learning experience. It was a game.

Remember when stuff from the store came without safety caps and hermetic seals 'cause no one had yet tried to poison a stranger.

And, with all our progress, don't you just wish, .just once, you could slip back in time and savor the slower pace and share it with  the children of the 80's and 90's?

Remember Nancy Drew, The Hardy Boys, Laurel & Hardy, Howdy Doody and The Peanut Gallery, The Lone Ranger, The Shadow Knows, Nellie Belle, Roy and Dale, Trigger and Tom Mix and Tony and being a Straight-Shooter and Buttermilk, and the sound of a reel mower on Saturday morning, and summers filled with bike rides, playing in cowboy land, baseball games, bowling and visits to the pool, and eating Kool-Aid powder with real sugar.

When being sent to the principal's office was nothing compared to the fate that awaited a misbehaving student at home. Basically, we were in fear for our lives, but it wasn't because of drive-by shootings, drugs, gangs, etc. Our parents and grandparents were a much bigger threat! But, we all survived because their love was greater than the threat.

Count your life by smiles, not tears. Count your age by friends, not years.