ANNUAL RAFFLE: 2005 Raffle Preseason | About the Raffle | 2004 Raffle Winner
Vol. 17, No. 48 May 30, 2005
IN THIS ISSUE:
This Reveille Home Page | The Friday Program: Operation Unified Assistance | The Big Black Badge Box Shuffle | Friday Potpourri | The Rotary Club of Duvall Invasion! | Club Service I Mini Assembly | New Member Inducted: Tom Harrelson | SAA Guilt Trip | Web Fun
SAA Guilt Trip
Jenny Andrews, moving into her final month as Sergeant At Arms, had a particularly eventful morning, as she threw off the guilt that plagued her all week by calling Kelly Nolan forward. Kelly, as you recall, brought donuts to a previous breakfast to help celebrate National Salvation Army Week with the Armys Famous Doughnuts. Jenny fined him for overt advertising. Then, the guilt set in. You cant fine a Captain of the Salvation Army whose classification is 'Pastor,'" said the little voice in her head. Jenny righted the wrong by presenting Kelly with $40 from last weeks SAA fine basket to go buy more doughnuts!
As if on cue, the curtain went up on Otis & Stella Enter Cletus, Exit Otis, another heart-throbbing visit from our lovely Northwest neighbors.
Otis and Stella stumbled in loudly with broken golf clubs in hand wanting to sign up for the BBRC Golf Outing just as Jenny finished with Kelly Nolan.
Jenny looked horrified and said, How many times do we have to tell you, you aren't getting into this club, and you certainly aren't golfing in our tourney.
The duo whined, complained, and muttered about unfairness.
Enter Cletus: The mullet-headed wonder said, I wantsa golf, too! He holds up a big crooked stick, an old beat-up hockey stick. Some stumbling around occured and then Cletus got big-eyed and yelled, Stella, is that you?
Stella said, incredulously, "CLETUS?????" and hid behind Otis. I been at our home under the West Seattle Bridge.
We don't live in West Seattle you crazy old drunk. WE LIVE IN DOOOO-VALLLL!
We live in DOOOO-VALLLL????
Sure do! I went out Snipe hunting bout two year ago and when I come back you wuz gone! Fur two years I looked for you and then finally I give up and joined this real nice group of folks in Dooo-Valll. They was forming a Rotary Club. You all should come out with me and visit 'em sometime.
Otis chimed in with, Well, let's go to DOOOO-VALLL now! and Stella joined him with, I wanna see DOOOVALLL!!!
But Cletus got his back up and said, Now hold on one tick-flickin second! Stella is my woman and I don't want you (Otis) in our house, you old good-fer-nuthin coot!
Otis smugly said, Well, if wes goin to DOOOOVALLLL, I'll stay at Danny's house (President of the Duvall Club)!
Jenny joined in and aid, You know, thats an excellent idea! Danny, would you come up here and help our friend Otis? Lets send him down to PETS maybe they can clean him up.
Otis shuffled off with Danny muttering about this PETS thing: Does this mean I get me a dog? What about a hamster?
Stella and Cletus took the broken golf clubs and asked Jenny for a sign-up sheet. Jenny reluctantly handed Stella and Cletus the sheet and explained:
"If you sign up to golf before June 3, itll cost you $150 each. After June 3, its $160.
But, if you guys can come up with $150 you can be a hole sponsor! Or, you can sponsor the golf tournament AND our raffle at the $500, $1000, $1500 or $2000 level. What do you say?"
Cletus asked Stella if she had any money. Stella started emptying pockets. Lets see, I got a button, Otis dental appointment card, a beer ...
Cletus was distracted by the beer. Jenny said, So, are you two going to sign up or not?
Stella shrugged but, believe it or not, Cletus had an idea! I know! My buddy Stevie he said I kin be on his team! So sign me up! His name is Stevie Lingenbeerdrinkin! Cletus and Stella stumbled off stage happily as the curtain fell.
Looks like the West Seattle Bridge Players will be moving to Duvall. And, weve seen the last of Otis for awhile as he takes a year-long stop at the PETS Spa. Another $150 goes to the Golf Outing and alls well that ends well. Our thanks to Steve Lingenbrink, Mary Bell, and Curt Cummings for their vivid portrayals.
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