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The Bums Return
(Ed. note: Your editor is confused whether it’s the “Beach Bums” or the “Harley Bums” or both. For the last couple of weeks, both groups have performed on behalf of the raffle and both have showed up on the same day. Don’t these people have a life? I hope I get all this information right. I sure don’t want to be hauled off to SAA School!)
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Hell’s Rotarians Powell & Lingenleather |
So Friday, it was the Harley Bums, turning into the Beach Bums and providing a whole lot of toe-tappin’ with another Sergeant At Arms schtick. We’re into the final month of Raffle ticket sales so the heat is being turned up.
The first indication that the morning’s peace was to be shattered was the roar of the Harleys, with Jay Powers and Steve Lingenbrink at the controls. They were joined by Peter Powell, and all three asked “Where’s Mary?”
Last week, our intrepid Peanut Players captured our beloved Sergeant At Arms, as they mocked her money-raising abilities. “Back to Sergeant At Arms School you go Mary,” as they hauled her off on the back of the Harley.
This week’s episode had the three Bums shouting, “We’ve gone back to Sturgis to find Sergeant Mary,” who entered the room decked out in black leather, bandana and a mouth full of gum. Mary took the microphone and said, “I tried to be patient and be nice to you, but I got no respect. I just got booed. I tell you … I’m gonna raise money now!
Sergeant Mary fined Chris Ballard $5 for wearing a suit – “on a charge of impersonating an insurance salesman!”
Chris Monger lost $5 when told to pick a number between 1 and10. Can’t win against Sergeant Mary on that one, Chris!
And then, Mary challenged everyone in the room: “If you don’t have a pierced bellybutton like I do, put a dollar on the table!” That raised $76 in one fell swoop!
Next the gum chewing group became the Beach Bums with a song about Sergeant Mary.
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Hells Rotarian Powers & Sergeant Bell
Powers & Lingensinger
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Sergeant Mary
(Sung to the Eagles Tune "Witchy Woman")
Raven hair, and ruby lips, sparks fly from her finger tips
Echoed voices in the night, she's a restless spirit after endless fines
Woo hoo, Sergeant Mary, see how high she fines
Woo hoo, Sergeant Mary, she got your dough in her eyes
She'll hold you spell-bound in her sight,
Someone told her what you did last night
Crazy laughter from around the room
as you dive into your wallet just to spare your doom
Woo hoo, Sergeant Mary, see how high she fines
Woo hoo, Sergeant Mary, she got your cash in her eyes
I know you want to trust her but let me tell you buster she's been keepin' records on your head
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Hell’s Rotarians Powers & Bell leaving … but they’ll be back.
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And when rumors fly about, there's no duckin' out, she gon' sock it to your pocket 'til you’re in the red
Woo hoo, Sergeant Mary, see how high she fines
Woo hoo, Sergeant Mary, she got your dough in her eyes
The cheers from the crowd indicated they got the picture. No more Ms. Nice Lady.
And off they went in a cloud of smoke and carbon monoxide. Better be back in your seats for this week’s hot episode!
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