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A Walk Down Memory Lane ­ A History of BBRC Retreats

Matching Gift Program Announced

President-Elect Reports

Event Hats/Visors on Sale

Man of LaMancha a Fellowship Event

Friday Potpourri

The La Conner Retreat ­ A Recap

Student Of The Month: Oriana Kness

Rotary Foundation Awards Members

Foundation Committee Performs Valuable Service

Steve Goodier: When You judge Yourself

Web Fun

WEB FUN

The day finally arrives; Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed and Forrest approaches the Gatekeeper. St. Peter says, "Well, Forrest, it's certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we've been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven."

Forrest responds, "It shor is good ta be here , St. Peter, sir. But nobody ever tolt me about any entrance exam. Shor hope the test ain't too hard; life was a big enough test as it was."

St. Peter goes on, "Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions.

First: What two days of the week begin with the letter T?

Second: How many seconds are there in a year?

Third: What is God's first name?"

Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day and sees St. Peter who waves him up and says, "Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers."

Forrest says, "Well, the  first one -- which two days in the week begin with the letter "T"?  Shucks, that one's easy. That'd be Today and Tomorrow.

The Saint's eyes open wide and he exclaims, "Forrest, that's not what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I didn't specify, so I'll give you credit for that answer. How about the next one?" asks St. Peter.

"How many seconds in a year?"

"Now that one's harder," says Forrest, "but I thunk and thunk about that and I guess the only answer can be twelve."

Astounded, St. Peter says, "Twelve? Twelve!? Forrest, how could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"

Forrest says "Shucks, there's gotta be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd ..."

"Hold it", interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you're going with this, and I see your point, though that wasn't quite what I had in mind ... but I'll have to give you credit for that one, too. Let's go on with the third and final question. Can you tell me God's first name"?

"Sure", Forrest replied, "its Andy."

"Andy?!" exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St. Peter. "Ok, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?"

"Shucks, that was the easiest one of all," Forrest replied. "I learnt it from the song ... "ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN ..."

St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates and said: "Run Forrest, run."

* * *

(This is purportedly a list from comedian Jeff Foxworthy)

YOU KNOW YOU’RE FROM THE PACIFIC NORTHWEST WHEN:

1. You know the state flower (Mildew)

2. You feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash.

3. You know more than 10 ways to order coffee.

4. You stand on a deserted corner, in the rain, waiting for the walk signal.

5. You can taste the difference between Starbucks, Seattle's Best, and Tully's.

6. You know the difference between Chinook, Coho, and Sockeye salmon.

7. You know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Issaquah, Tillicum, Wenatchee, Tulalip, Yakima and Willamette.

8. You consider swimming an indoor sport.

9. You can tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese and Thai food.

10. In winter, you go to work in the dark and come home in the dark-while only working eight-hour days.

11. You never go camping without waterproof matches and a poncho.

12. You have no concept of humidity without precipitation.

13. You know that Boring is a town in Oregon and not just a state of mind.

14. You put on your shorts when the temperature gets above 50, but still wear your hiking boots and parka. 

15. You have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain.

16. You buy new sunglasses every year, because you can't find the old ones after such a long time.

17. You use a down comforter in the summer. 

18. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit under a raincoat.

19. You know all the important seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Raining (Spring), Road Construction (Summer), Deer and Elk season (Fall).

20. You actually understand these jokes

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