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OBITUARY
A woman goes into the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is published.
The obit editor informs her that there is a charge of 50 cents per word. She pauses, reflects, and says, “Well, then, let it read: Fred Brown died."
Amused at the woman's thrift, the editor tells her that there is a seven word minimum for all obituaries. She thinks it over and then says, "In that case, let it read: Fred Brown died. Golf clubs for sale.”
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Summer in Arizona
The Devil wanted a place on earth,
Sort of a summer home,
A place to spend his vacation,
Whenever he wanted to roam.
So he picked out Arizona,
A place both wretched and rough.
Here, the climate was to his liking
And the cowboys were hardened and tough.
He dried up the streams in the canyons
And ordered no rain to fall.
He dried up the lakes in the valleys,
Then baked and scorched it all.
Then over his barren desert
He transplanted shrubs from Hell.
The cactus, thistle and prickly pear –
The climate suited them well.
Now, the home was much to his liking,
But animal life, he had none.
So, he created crawling creatures
That all mankind would shun.
First he took the rattlesnake,
With its forked poisonous tongue,
Taught it to strike and rattle
And how to swallow its young.
Then he took Scorpions and lizards
And the ugly old Horned Toad.
He placed spiders of every description
Under rocks by the side of the road.
Then, he ordered the sun to shine hotter …
Hotter and hotter still,
Until even the cactus wilted
And the old Horned Toad looked ill.
Then he gazed on his earthly kingdom.
As any creator would,
He chuckled a little up his sleeve
And admitted that it was good.
'Twas summer now and Satan lay
By a prickly pear to rest.
The sweat rolled off his weary brow.
So he took off his coat and vest.
"By Golly," he finally panted,
"I did my job too well.
I'm going back to where I came from.
Arizona is hotter than Hell!"
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