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Vol. 18, No. 5, August 1, 2005

IN THIS ISSUE:

This Reveille Home Page | Friday Program: A League of Their Own | Sayoko Kuwahara is ROTM | "Adopted" Highway Clean-Up | First New Member Mixer | Calling All Great Golfers & Putters | Friday Potpourri | Stewart Martin, Raffle Rotarian | Infirmary Tales | Former Bellevue Area Exchange Student Checks In | Web Fun

Web Fun

All Web Fun from John Mix this week. He doesn't have anything else to do.

They Walk Among Us

IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason? "Too many deer were being hit by cars," and he didn't want them to cross there anymore. This one was from Kingman, Kansas.

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg. And he was a Kansas City chef!

IDIOT SIGHTING

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask." Happened in Birmingham, Alabama.

IDIOT CROSSING

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine, when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?" She was a probation officer in Wichita, Kansas.

IDIOT TALKING

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to "downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often!" Not a word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare. This was a bunch at Texas Instruments.

IDIOT WORKING

I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself, and for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not turn on. A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff's Office, no less.

IDIOT WORKING 2

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open!" To which he replied, "I know - I already got that side." This was at the Chevy dealership in Rock Hill, South Carolina!

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