Sergeant Ballard

The dastardly Sergeant Chris Ballard

What Rotary Club do you know that has more than one Sergeant At Arms? With Sergeant Mary making waves as this year’s SAA, we may not remember that Sergeant Chris Ballard hovers nearby, making all things legal. “I’m not a real Sergeant,” he modestly observed. “But, I know how to sub for our missing Sergeant At Arms!”

First, Chris zeroed in on Nick Paget for “holding up the Raffle Ticket Turn-in Line.” Cost Nick $4.00. Sadru Kabani was fined $5.00 for some obscure reason. And then, everyone who didn’t have their Rotary Pins affixed somewhere was asked to put $3.00 on the table. Gee, and they didn’t even get a pin for their troubles!

Finally, Steve Lingenbrink was accosted for advertising through his gift of thousands of pens for Club use. He pulled out the “Get Out of Jail Card,” but Ballard said the “statue of lamentations had run out.” Lingenpen began to object, so Ballard whacked him with a $20.00 fine. Hurry! Bring back Mary!