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Below is a
link to text file with the main letter to send out for the raffle. This text file can be opened and manipulated in any word processing software.
Click on
the link. You will either be asked to download the file to your hard drive or the file will open in a new browser window. If it opens in the browser window, go up to FILE, click SAVE AS,
and save it as a text file (.txt on a PC/Text Only on Mac). You can then open any word processing software and open and edit the document.
RAFFLE LETTER
TEXT FILE
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The BBRC version of a Presidential Campaign is underway, but not without considerable evidence of chicanery. The Whig Party candidate, Jim Zidar, seems to have been
nominated in a straightforward, above-the-board manner. Not so Dick Brown, the Tory Party candidate.
For starters, Dick was last known as a Whig Party stalwart, a card carrying member of the Altered State. The details still are not clear, but there is a strong suggestion that a check for $25
,000, clearly payola, has changed hands as part of a back room deal to swap Mr. Brown for Mike “What, Me Worry?” Hyodo of the State of Enthusiasm. This has all lead to the nomination of
“Suits” “Put the Money in My Pocket” Brown as the Tory Party candidate.
Notwithstanding what appears to be blatant skullduggery and cynicism, Mr. Brown announced that his party would be running on a platform of Maturity, Security & Purity.
Somehow, he has duped former BBRC President Sharon Edberg into becoming his running mate.
Mr. Brown, always a student of history, also reminded those assembled that Tory was really an acronym for The
Outstanding Rotarian of the Year. If you believe that, perhaps you will believe the rest of his story as well.
The Whigs are at least honest. Jimmy Z. has vowed “to do whatever the hell is necessary to win!”
We were all overwhelmed with the appearance of Senior Statesman Steve “Ronnie” “Dutch” “Win One for the Gipper” Goldfarb, accompanied by Shelly “Nancy” Noble
. Naturally, they were accompanied by their trusted Secret Service agent, Jay “I know what you’re up to!” Powers.
Unfortunately, whatever words of wisdom our Senior Statesman wanted to impart were lost on the assemblage since he couldn’t remember what it
was he wanted to say (and this after four hours of practice before the mirror).
The scariest part for Mr. Goldfarb and Ms. Noble is that they bore an uncanny and striking resemblance to the former First Couple.
A big thank you to Frank Stillo for another outstanding job on tickets and signs for the raffle sales effort.
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