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Vol. 18, No. 49, JUNE 5, 2006 |
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The Friday Program: Helping a Friend Who Is Dying (Dr. Lani Leary Houck) | Friday Potpourri | Rotarian of the Month: Mitch Freedman | Student of the Month: Aaron Thompson | Bikes, Leather & Chains | A Micro Club Assembly: Club Service II | Charity Golf Classic Takes Flight | Community Service Committee Hosts Work Party | A Revetorial | New Member Application Approved for Publication: Candy Barroga | Food For Thought: A Mayonnaise Jar & 2 Cups of Coffee | Board of Directors Photo |
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The Friday Program:
Jim Gordon, who introduced her, posed the question, “So, I suppose you’re waiting for the military connection? (Jim is our contact for all things military). Well, Lani’s husband is a Vice Admiral and commands the 13th Naval District!” Dr. Houck specializes in work with chronically ill, dying, and bereaved clients. She has worked the past 25 years as a psychotherapist in private practice, as a hospital chaplain in the intensive care unit, and as a counselor in six hospices across the country. She was a professor at George Mason University and has been a researcher at the National Cancer Institute of NIH. President Steve welcomed the large crowd by introducing Carlos Aragon, who gave the invocation and led the pledge to the flag. David Bolson greeted several visiting Rotarians, including four members of the new Kirkland Breakfast Rotary which the BBRC has helped sponsor. Bill McCaulley, soon to be President of Shoreline Breakfast Rotary and soon to come under the wing of Assistant Governor Steve Lingenbrink, also was introduced. Ernie Hayden has recovered from his injuries suffered in a fall at his home back in January and is rarin’ to get back in the Rotary saddle. He was welcomed with a loud burst of applause. Ernie has formally applied to the Board of Directors for reinstatement of his membership.  Rotarian of the Month: Mitch Freedman
New member Mitch Freedman was recognized as the club’s newest Paul Harris Fellow, his generous act of supporting the Rotary Foundation with a gift of $1,000. President Steve said that Mitch had become a member of “one of best charitable organizations on the planet.” For Mitch’s dedication as a new member, he also received the plaque for Rotarian of Month for June. A round of gusto and enthusiasm greeted Mitch with this news! Student of the Month: Aaron Thompson
Aaron is active in sports and is a student leader and a community service leader. He is a senior and served as the Associated Student Body President this past year. He has a heart for the elderly, which perked up the antennas of about half the room. Aaron will attend Brigham Young University next year. A Micro Club Assembly: Club Service II
Steve was not there, but Tom filled in nicely for the Membership Development Chair. “Our big, new job is to create an atmosphere for members 35 and under.”
Ruben Ladlad chairs the Membership Retention effort by being an “encouragement to all members who may lag in attendance. Our job is to keep them active. Our members are busy people and each is valuable to us.” Tom Smith announced that Ruben will retire on June 30, to be replaced by a “kinder, gentler Sayoko.” (Boy, she can sure wear all kinds of different hats, can’t she?)
Tom Smith closed his Micro Assembly saying that “we started the year with 109 and said we’d go for a net plus one. Looks like we’re a net plus six at 115! We’ve worked hard at what we do! Charity Golf Classic Takes Flight
Chuck Barnes and his Corporate Sponsorship Committee have designed a program for sponsoring activities surrounding the Golf Classic. Following is the list of the different opportunities: Hole in One Sponsor Level: $5,000
Double Eagle Sponsor Level: $3,500
Eagle Sponsor Level: $2,500
Birdie Sponsor Level: $1,000
General Sponsor Level $500
Complimentary Hole Sponsor Level $200 (Non golfers)
Golf Pin Flag Sponsor $5,000 (SOLD-Microsoft)
Committee Members: Community Service Committee Hosts Work Party Led by Ron Healey, a five-person team of Rotarians tackled some major building problems at Camp Terry, the YMCA Day camp located on the Raging River in Preston. The work party’s attention was focused on the camp administration building, which had some badly rotting decks. Under Ron’s direction, the old wood was removed and replaced by a set of treated wood steps and flooring. One section of a lower deck was shored up with a new post, set in concrete. As Ron said, “there’s a lot of work to be done at this facility. We may have to pay another visit soon.” Workers included Crew Chief Healey, Bob McKorkle, Kevin Jewell, Howard Johnson and John Mix. McKorkle also brought along his daughter Francine Weaver and sons Kyle and Ryan, all of Issaquah, who worked alongside their Rotary friends. Boxes of hot Krispy Creme donuts, big muffins and hot coffee greeted the crew. At noon, four huge pizzas arrived. Sue Healey, as always, was in charge of this important part of the work party. CLICK HERE TO VIEW ORIGINAL PHOTOS FROM THIS SPECIAL EVENT New Member Application Approved Candace “Candy” Barroga has had her application approved by the Board of Directors. Candy is a 3-year member of the Rotary Club of Fremont, where she has served as Treasurer. Her classification is “Mortgage Investment.” Her sponsor is Steve Lingenbrink. Candy is married to Bob Igou and they live in Seattle. Her employer is Cedar River Mortgage, LLC, at the Bellevue office, a firm that specializes in Reverse Mortgages. Candace has served as Treasurer and Board Member of the Wallingford Community Senior Center. She is serving as president of Literacy Source during 2006-2007, and she is a member of the National Reverse Mortgage Lenders Association. Candy likes to sing, enjoys caring for house plants, and walking. She is also a member of the Ballard Speakeasy Toastmasters. Questions or comments regarding this proposed member should be directed to Tom Smith (Ph 425-451-8036) no later than Thursday, June 15, at 3:00 p.m. According to club officials, the induction of four members will take place on Friday, June 23, 2006. The four include Ron Black, John Armenia, Ernie Hayden, and Candace Barroga. Armenia, Hayden and Barroga have previous Rotary membership. Food For Thought: A Mayonnaise Jar & 2 Cups of Coffee The Friday Program:
Jim Gordon, who introduced her, posed the question, “So, I suppose you’re waiting for the military connection? (Jim is our contact for all things military). Well, Lani’s husband is a Vice Admiral and commands the 13th Naval District!” Dr. Houck specializes in work with chronically ill, dying, and bereaved clients. She has worked the past 25 years as a psychotherapist in private practice, as a hospital chaplain in the intensive care unit, and as a counselor in six hospices across the country. She was a professor at George Mason University and has been a researcher at the National Cancer Institute of NIH. Dr. Houck said, “You can make a different in someone else’s dying. However, you’ve got to seize the opportunity.” She went on to tell her audience about her mother dying when Lani was 13. “I did not get to say goodbye to her. I wasn’t even there and I’ve felt shortchanged all these years.” (Dr. Houck is currently writing Ten Things I Wished I'd Asked Her before She Died, due for publication soon.)
Now, the story comes full circle. “My father died two years ago. Because I was part of his dying, I feel a sense of fullness and gratitude that I was able to make a difference in how he left. My grief was substantially different than my brothers who couldn’t be present.” Her message to Rotarians is to “make a difference by understanding what the dying need.” “We can make a difference to ourselves by starting right now to deal with our own deaths. We belong to such a death-denying society. We don’t want to see it ... we’d rather leave a loved one in the hospital. Since we don’t talk about it, we don’t do it well. Knowing and understanding about death and dying can be our final gift to our loved ones.” Lani noted that our Rotary club has an initiative called Care & Concern. “If one of your own is terminally ill, your club makes a point to express your care and concern. There is no unfinished business here.” “You can make another big difference by your presence. I have had the privilege of being with over 500 people as they died. Part of your presence is to be comfortable with them, and be comfortable with the silence. Make sure we don’t let our agenda be the agenda for their dying. Quiet is important. Listen ... a painful part of dying is their loneliness. No one is asking questions. Presence is about joining with their experience. The dying can say that no one is here to hold my dying with me. I will hold it with you and be able to hear what you’re experiencing.” When Lani’s father called her to tell her that “the pneumonia is now cancer. I closed down my classes and put aside six months to be with him. I literally closed down my life. Now he could say, ‘Lani’s home, and everything’s going to be okay now.' I became his Chief Advocate. I felt much like a midwife.” Now, Dr. Houck could help her father by understanding what the dying need. “They want competent care. They want to trust the doctors and nurses. It’s a very vulnerable time. You have the opportunity to act as a go-between with the medical, nursing staff and your family member. Should we have chemo? What would that do as I try to beat this illness?” The dying want compassion, not sympathy. Sympathy can be distancing. Make it empathy. Having compassion while forgiving his anger when the illness starts to take some of his personality away. Communications with the loved one recognizes that he wants to be included in the conversations. “We don’t know how much time you have left ... what do you want to do with that time? He wants to ride his horse, go sailing, he wants to see a friend. You can set up a hospice at home which allows the family to come home and grieve.” Lani sat down with her father and went through his scrap books. “We talked about how to write his obituary. Let him or her dictate what their legacy might be.” The dying want a physical connection. They need touching. Massage his/her back. Help him one with a clean undershirt…touch, touch, touch. It’s so healing. Hold his hand. It’s okay to touch. The dying want an emotional connection. They want dignity. Think of the dying person as a whole person. Give them space and time to say goodbye to loved ones. They also need permission to die. They need to hear that it’s okay to die. That the person is not letting the family down by dying. “My father’s last morning began with him saying, ‘I’m such a burden.’ I breathed with him, I told him thank you for being my father. I told him ‘I love you.’ Then, his eyes opened wide and he stared at a far-off place. I told him to go to her — Mom — giving him my permission.” You can make a difference and start right now. Develop a death competency. Don’t shy away from people who are dying or the subject of death. Have you written your own will? Will you make an organ donation? Have you communicated all of your final wishes to your family? Make these decisions now. Life with my father has ended, but his relationship continues. I had a special time with him and now it my job to take care of his sons, his friends. It’s just death ... not the end.
Rotarians will remember Dr. Lani Houck’s talk for a long time to come. Proof of that was the outline she provided, which was snapped up by members at each table. Dr. Houck accepted a certificate noting that the BBRC had donated a book in her name to the King County Library System in support of their Ready-to-Read program. Thanks to Jim Gordon for his introduction.
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June 30 is the final Friday of June this year. What better way to send the Lingenbrink admin on its way and greet the new leadership of Jim Zidar than by having a party that night? Sayoko Kuwahara, with a bunch of new tattoos, wearing leather and chains, gave a hefty promotion to the BBRC annual Rotating the Wheels Dinner. This one will be casual. Duh! The place is Glendale Country Club, with the festivities beginning at 6:00 p.m., dinner at 7:00 p.m. Jeans & T-shirt is the attire! The cost is $40 per person. 
Friday Potpourri
