Web Fun

Planting Time

An old man lived alone.  He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, who would have helped him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his predicament.

Dear Son:

I am feeling pretty bad, because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I hate to miss doing the garden because your mother always loved planting time. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me, if you weren't in prison.

Love, Dad

Shortly, the old man received this telegram:

For HEAVEN'S SAKE, Dad, don't dig up the garden!  That's where I buried the GUNS!

At 4:00 the next morning, a dozen FBI agents and local police officers showed up and started digging up the entire garden without finding any guns. Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what happened and asking him what to do next.

His son's reply:

Go ahead and plant your potatoes, Dad, It's the best I could do for you from here.

AMAZING FACTS - Some New, Some Old

A snail can sleep for three years.

Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.

Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, dogs only about 10.

February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.

If the population of China walked past you in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.

In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

Leonardo daVinci invented scissors.

Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

Shakespeare invented the word ”assassination” and “bump.”

“Stewardesses” is the longest word typed with only the left hand, “lollipop” with your right.

The cruise liner, QE2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.

The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with. (Except maybe North and South America!)

“Typewriter” is the longest word that can be made using the letters on one row of the keyboard.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

If you are an average American, in your whole life you will spend an average of 6 months waiting at red lights.

In most advertisements, including newspapers, the time displayed on a watch face is 10:10.

The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.

Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks; otherwise it will digest itself.

There's no Betty Rubble in Flintstones Chewables.

There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: abstemious and facetious.

There is a word in the English language with only one vowel which occurs five times: indivisibility.

The Bible does not say there were three wise men; it only says there were three gifts.

Did you know that crocodiles never outgrow the pool in which they live? That means if you put a baby croc in an aquarium, it would be little for the rest of its life.

A group of geese on the ground is a gaggle; a group of geese in the air is a skein.

A "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100 of a second.

Pinocchio is Italian for "pine eye."

More than 50% of people in the world have never made or received a phone call.

Rats and horses can't vomit.

The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language. Try it!

Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.

In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.

The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

A duck's quack doesn't echo anywhere, and no one knows why.

In the course of an average lifetime you will, while sleeping, eat 70 assorted insects and 10 spiders.

Most lipstick contains fish scales.

Like fingerprints, everyone's tongues print is different.

If you were wondering why Wally and Bernadette left the Pacific Northwest for Long Island, here are five good reasons: the Mahoney grandchildren, dancing in the snow of the East Coast!