BELLEVUE BREAKFAST ROTARY CLUB

 IN THIS ISSUE:

Vol. 15, No. 23, December 2, 2002

Christmas is Coming
A Visit to the Barnyard

    When I was a young turkey,
    new to the coop,
    My big brother Mike
    took me out on the stoop,

    There he sat me down,
    and he spoke real slow,
    And he told me there was something
    that I really had to know;

    His look and his tone
    I will always remember,
    When he told me of the horrors
    of..... Black November;

    "Come about August,
    now listen to me,
    Each day you'll get six meals
    instead of just three,

    "And soon you'll be thick,
    where once you were thin,
    And you'll grow a big rubbery thing
    under your chin;

    "And then one morning,
    when you're warm in your bed,
    In'll burst the farmer's wife,
    and hack off your head;

    "Then she'll pluck out all your feathers
    so you're bald 'n pink,
    And scoop out all your insides
    and leave ya lyin' in the sink;

    "And then comes the worst part"
    he said not bluffing,
    "She'll spread your cheeks
    and pack your rear with stuffing".

    Well, the rest of his words
    were too grim to repeat,
    I sat on the stoop
    like a winged piece of meat,

    And decided on the spot
    that to avoid being cooked,
    I'd have to lay low
    and remain overlooked;

    I began a new diet
    of nuts and granola,
    High-roughage salads,
    juice and diet cola;

    And as they ate pastries,
    chocolates and crepes,
    I stayed in my room
    doing Jane Fonda tapes;

    I maintained my weight
    of two pounds and a half,
    And tried not to notice
    when the bigger birds laughed;

    But 'twas I who was laughing,
    under my breath,
    As they chomped and they chewed,
    ever closer to death;

    And sure enough
    when Black November rolled around,
    I was the last turkey
    left in the entire compound;

    So now I'm a pet
    in the farmer's wife's lap;
    I haven't a worry,
    so I eat and I nap;

    She held me today,
    while sewing and humming,
    And smiled at me and said:
    "Christmas is coming..."

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