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WHO WOULD YOU LISTEN TO?
The Pythagorean
Theorem is 24 words.
The Lord's Prayer
is 66 words.
Archimedes'
Principle is 67 words.
The 10
Commandments is 179 words.
The Gettysburg
Address is 286 words.
The Declaration
of Independence is 1300 words.
The U.S.
government regulations on the sale of cabbage: 26,911 words.
Who would you listen to?
TODAY'S LAUGH:
GRACIOUSLY MANNERED
Bernard, who is noted for his gracious manners, was
awakened one morning at 4:30 a.m. by his ringing telephone. "Your dog is barking, and it's keeping me awake," said an angry voice. Bernard thanked the
caller, and checked the caller I.D. for which neighbor had called. The next morning at precisely 4:30 a.m. Bernard called his neighbor back. "Good
morning, Mr. Williams. Just called to say that I do not have a dog."
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For You Sports Fans
The following shows that we don't need education to make big dollars.
Why we shouldn’t idolize sports figures:
New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers, when asked about the upcoming season: "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes
first."
On hearing Joe Jacobi of the Redskins say, "I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl,"
Matt Millen of the Raiders said, "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."
Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann, in 1996: "Nobody in football should
be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up alphabetically by height. You
guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle."
Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker: "That's so when I
forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."
Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota:
"He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is."
Jim Finks, New Orleans Saints General Manager, when asked after a loss what he thought of the refs: "I'm not allowed to comment
on lousy no good officiating.
Alan Kulwicki, stock car racer, on racing Saturday nights as opposed to Sunday afternoons: "Its just the same, but basically
darker."
Lincoln Kennedy, Oakland Raiders tackle, on his decision not to vote: "I was going to write
myself in, but I was afraid I'd get shot."
Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins: "He
treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."
Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a
player who received four Fs and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."
Who You Are Makes A Difference
A teacher in New York decided to honor each of her seniors in high school by
telling them the difference they each made. She called each student to the front of the class, one at a time.
First she told each of them how they had made a difference to her and the
class. Then she presented each of them with a blue ribbon imprinted with gold letters, which read, "Who I Am Makes a Difference."
Afterwards the teacher decided to do a class project to see what kind of
impact recognition would have on a community. She gave each of the students three more ribbons and instructed them to go out and spread this
acknowledgment ceremony. Then they were to follow up on the results, see who honored whom and report back to the class in a week.
One of the boys in the class went to a junior executive in a nearby company
and honored him for helping him with his career planning. He gave him a blue ribbon and put it on his shirt. Then he gave him two extra ribbons and said,
"We're doing a class project on recognition, and we'd like you to go out, find somebody to honor, give them a blue ribbon, then give them the extra blue
ribbon so they can acknowledge a third person to keep this acknowledgment ceremony going. Then please report back to me and tell me what happened."
Later that day the junior executive went in to see his boss, who had been
noted, by the way, as being kind of a grouchy fellow. He sat his boss down and he told him that he deeply admired him for being a creative genius. The
boss seemed very surprised. The junior executive asked him if he would accept the gift of the blue ribbon and would he give him permission to put it on him.
His surprised boss said, "Well, sure." The junior executive took the blue
ribbon and placed it right on his boss's jacket above his heart. As he gave him the last extra ribbon, he said, "Would you do me a favor? Would you take this
extra ribbon and pass it on by honoring somebody else. The young boy who first gave me the ribbons is doing a project in school and we want to keep this
recognition ceremony going and find out how it affects people."
That night the boss came home to his 14-year-old son and sat him down. He
said, "The most incredible thing happened to me today. I was in my office and one of the junior executives came in and told me he admired me and gave me
a blue ribbon for being a creative genius. Imagine. He thinks I'm a creative genius. Then he put this blue ribbon that says "Who I Am Makes a Difference"
on my jacket above my heart. He gave me an extra ribbon and asked me to find somebody else to honor.
As I was driving home tonight, I started thinking about whom I would honor
with this ribbon and I thought about you. I want to honor you. My days are really hectic and when I come home I don't pay a lot of attention to you.
Sometimes I scream at you for not getting good enough grades in school and for your bedroom being a mess, but somehow tonight, I just wanted to sit here
and, well, just let you know that you do make a difference to me. Besides your mother, you are the most important person in my life. You're a great kid and I love you!"
The startled boy started to sob and sob, and he couldn't stop crying. His
whole body shook. He looked up at his father and said through his tears, "Dad, earlier tonight I sat in my room and wrote a letter to you and Mom
explaining why I had killed myself and asking you to forgive me. I was going to commit suicide tonight after you were asleep. I just didn't think that you cared
at all. The letter is upstairs. I don't think I need it after all."
His father walked upstairs and found a heartfelt letter full of anguish and pain. The envelope was addressed, "Mom and Dad".
The boss went back to work a changed man. He was no longer a grouch but
made sure to let all his employees know that they made a difference. The junior executive helped several other young people with career planning and
never forgot to let them know that they made a difference in his life … one being the boss's son. And the young boy and his classmates learned a valuable lesson. Who you are DOES make a difference.
Pass it on. [Contributed by Earl Falk]
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